Ask for help that way and critical things happen: 1. If you're in financial hardship and are looking for financial assistance then you could go to Oprah Winfrey for help. Stay curious a little longer, and take advice giving and action taking a bit more slowly. * Need some help? Here are six things I do to be more strategic when offering help: 1. Knowing these cancer terms may help support your conversations with your healthcare team. Use this phrase when you're pretty sure that the other person will be happy to receive your help. B: (negative) No, thank you. Students who need help often shy away from asking for it, but people—like teachers and tutors—are in that profession because they love being asked to help students. It's almost surreal, the amount of love and support that's coming from all angles. Others are PR professionals who want me to write about their clients. But no woman is an island, and sometimes you need support to take the next step. Depending on the situation, we can and will come up with many different ways. And it's even more important for you to be proactive and think about how you can help them. Don’t ask someone for help when they are obviously … Getting Help with Schoolwork Try problem-solving first. If your loved one declines your offer to help, don’t pressure them to accept it. Be open-ended. Offering to Help and Responding. I'm the big dog in this particular hunt. The health information contained herein is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace discussions with a healthcare provider. We do not control, endorse or guarantee the content of third-party websites. Dorothy: One way is to ask, “ Do you have a minute? It's important to remind them there's no shame in asking for help; you're here for them, and you want to be. By showing you respect and trust other people and by giving them the latitude to freely share their expertise or knowledge, you don't just get the help you think you want. The only area where you don't excel: asking for help. You show trust. That would be great. We've earned our places in your world. Or they might spend several hours a week going in for treatments, so sometimes the last thing they want to talk about is cancer. So when we ask for help, we also tend to unconsciously add image enhancers. * Please, just ask, okay? But, as well-intentioned as these offers might seem, they might not actually encourage your loved one to ask for help—even when they need it. (When you're in charge and accustomed to directing others, turning requests into directives is a really easy habit to fall into.). This is a really simple, casual way to offer to help someone. Without actually saying it, you've said, "You know more than I do." Every day, a number of people ask me for help. We're smart, experienced, and savvy. You've said, "You don't have to tell me what you think I want to hear; tell me what you think I should do.". I'd like to buy some jewelry. Asking for help wasn't something that my parents ingrained in me. Does your loved one have children? It's admittedly something I have said countless times in the past. What’s important is that you’re there for them. Ask for help that way and critical things happen: Without actually saying it, you've said, "You know more than I do." He had to run towards those who were hurting, echoing the … On the app, you can build a circle of support with friends, family and loved ones, and easily receive requests for help with daily tasks like meals or rides to doctors' appointments. or "I can try" or "Sure.". Don't make your request too specific. And sometimes that means they'll have less time and energy for things that were once just part of their routine, like cooking and cleaning. Demonstrate that you've acted on the person's advice previously. Of course not. Listen to them closely so you can learn what they really need—it may give you more ideas of how you can best support them. If you want help, here's a better formula. Listen to them. Make it ridiculously clear what you’re asking for. You're vulnerable. Sometimes our friends won’t appreciate advice they don’t want to hear—especially if they're using drugs—but telling the truth to help someone close to you is part of being a real friend, even when it’s hard to do. LivingWith® is not put out by Fitbit, and Fitbit does not service or warrant the functionality of this product. You show respect. Here are some more examples in different contexts with different tenses.Can you give me a hand with these … You may also get the help you really need. Maybe they're fiercely independent, and they don't want cancer to change that. You've said, "You have experience (or talent or knowledge) that I don't have.". But you're a lot more likely to -- and are a lot more likely to spark a connection, and then a relationship, that could someday benefit you both. * Leave it to me, I will take care. Google and the Google logo are registered trademarks of Google LLC. READ News November 2020. Others want advice about launching a business. Almost all of those emails -- and face-to-face requests -- follow the same basic format. So I’m not sure where I fall on the help asking spectrum. Reaching out for help? Try to be flexible and understanding. I can’t think of a situation off-hand where I’ve labored to ask for help. A: Would you like/Do you need some help? I’m not sure how I feel about asking for help. Customize your request for help depending on the audience.If you’re having a personal problem you probably want to consult a close friend or counselor rather than your boss. Be specific, not general, in your offers to help. By making a specific offer to help versus asking how I can help, three things happen. But then, I also can’t remember many times when I have asked for help. Asking for help in an academic setting is a peculiar and sometimes paradoxical thing. Be direct, clear, and specific about what you want. Do you think you can ask around? And they close with a passionate account  huge difference my help will mean to them -- even if the ask is very small. I'm just looking/browsing. There are so many ways you can offer support. It's easy to sign up! I should be able to do this all by myself.” … Lone Leaders may not ask for help because they don't trust that anyone else will … * Here, let me give you a hand. Being curious is essential to asking good questions. If they have dietary restrictions as a result of their treatment, you can find a few recipes and offer to make dinner a few times a week. All decisions regarding patient care must be made with a healthcare provider, considering the unique characteristics of the patient. Use this guide to help you cope, relax and maybe even feel a little less overwhelmed. * I'll hold it for you. Or offer to babysit when they go to their next doctors' appointment. They get to offer the kind of advice or assistance or connections they know will really help you. Sometimes all they need is a push, or the use of your cell phone. You might try using a free app, LivingWith®, designed to help people manage a loved one's care and update friends and family on their behalf. A free app designed to help manage life with cancer. Here's the best way. Take the time to teach someone a skill you know. And sometimes just listening is the most helpful thing you can do. I don’t know. Then, even though an expert like Tim Ferriss says you should be extremely specific, don't frame your request. Getting to a solution quickly is not always the best route to take—easy to say, hard to do, but with practice you can improve this skill. Plus I didn't really ask for help. Additionally, this question can help extend learning throughout your team as members share the insights that inspire them. In his role, Goodwin is well-known … It's human nature to ask, how can I help when someone is in a difficult situation. It’s relatively common for people who help everyone to have problems asking for or accepting help from others. Finding specific ways to offer support is a great way to show how much you care. Few people, especially face-to-face, will ever say "no," even a stranger. Ask the prospective client or partner what he finds valuable, and offer an example... 2. … When you need help -- no matter the kind of help you need, or the person you need it from -- take the bass out of your voice, the stiffness out of your spine, and the captain out of your industry and just say, with sincerity and humility: You're much likely to get back a "What do you need?" Sometimes the simplest expressions of concern are the most meaningful. Or about fitness. If your loved one is living with cancer, then you know how important it is for them to feel supported by their friends, family and healthcare team. Download LivingWith™ for free orlearn more about the app. Most businesspeople admire full disclosure. Embrace groupthink. * Tell me what I can do. This Is For You is a guided online experience designed to give you the type of support you need so that you can make the most out of each day—in a way that's meaningful to you. Usually it’s used when what you’re asking doesn’t require a huge amount of effort from the person that you’re asking for help. Then they explain why they don't just need but actually deserve my help. Kevin: I’m trying to think of more ways you can ask for help. Just start with four simple words. And don't say exactly what you need. The words I chose instantly framed and signaled my importance and ensured my ego was protected. Instead, try to come up with your own thoughtful ideas of how you might help. Stuck reaction: “I don’t want help! They feel trusted. Not everyone can help you in the same way, so make sure you’re asking the right people the right questions at the right time, and in the right way. I can help. This information is intended only for the residents of the United States. This is another really common way to ask for help in English. People often make these kinds of general, catch-all offers to help. For example, if I need help with a presentation I might go to someone and say: "I'm giving the keynote at (insert huge conference name here) next week and my slides need some formatting tweaks.". You've said, "You can do what I... 2. Spark moments of reflection & learning at work by asking … ", Instead of saying, "I'm looking for Bleeker Street," say, "I'm lost and I can't find my hotel.". "It's almost surreal, the amount of love and support that's coming from all different angles," says Jordan, a pre-med student who is living with lymphoma. Plus, they may be more likely to accept help with day-to-day tasks, no matter how small. When you want to help a friend in a tough time, don't ask how you can help -- offer the specific type of help that you are able and willing to provide. The average length was 463 words. And the person you ask for help also gets something valuable. B: (positive) Yes. Instead of saying exactly how the other person should help you, you give them the freedom to decide. Are you guaranteed to get help if you ask for it that way? We're adults. Making Your Request 1 Choose the right time. Don't imply that you're above the other person. But sometimes it's hard to know where to start. They feel respected. These people have created an identity in which it’s valid to give, but not to receive. Every day tend to unconsciously add image enhancers be specific, not general in. And budgeting for your loved one ’ s Caregiver Resource Guide reminds us, “ sometimes the simplest of. Things I do. what ’ s a casual, relaxed way to offer support looking for assistance! Let someone else help inspire them are you guaranteed to get asking how can i help you! Fitbit is a great way to ask, '' a comprehensive description exactly... Outside of a pandemic have problems asking for or offering help: 1 try your to... 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